On Feminism and Femininity

So I'm writing a paper on feminism and trying to get at whether a woman trades off some of her right to workplace parity when she expects a man to pay on a date or be the one to approach/call her. Are these meaningless customs or significant representations of power dynamics? Are women ever going to be willing to be the chaser? And if so, will men only run away?

Please weigh in!

My thoughts on this:
"That's why I only date older and more successful men, so when they pay for stuff it's because I'm poor, not because I'm a girl."

My actions on this:
Guy in bar: Would you like something to drink?
Me: Umm, I'm not really comforable with that. As a feminist.
Guy: It's not because you're a girl, I'm just being polite.
Me: Well then buy him a drink too. (pointing to random guy at bar)
Guy: Would that make you feel better?
Me: Yes.
Guy: Fine.