The Score

Hey, it is the title of my blog :)

Corinne: 1
This week's fuckwit: 0

And that's how the game is played.

A tribute to the couple that was, wasn't, and now is.

Caught me by surprise
Sunday morning
Close your eyes
Found you there alone
Lost myself
Found a home.

Okay, this is just nuts...

...Especially the last part. Get out of my head!

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Spiritual Advancement
In a survival situation, you:	Do what is necessary
Your hidden talent is:	Spiritual wisdom
Your gift is:	Physical beauty
In groups, you:	Play an organisational role
Your best quality is:	Your indomitable will
Your weakness is:	Being predictable
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Tikkun Olam

In the Jewish tradition, Tikkun Olam refers to the responsibility each individual has to work towards repairing the world. Religious myth says that as part of their covenant with God, the Jews agreed to fulfill 613 mitzvots, or duties, aimed at preparing the world for its eventual redemption. Rather than being an outward-focused, evengelical religion, Judaism focuses on what each individual can do as an extension of his or her faith to better follow God's law. Traditionally, Jews are not concerned about converting others to Judaism because it is only they who are bound by the Torah. The philosophy of Tikkun Olam, however, is equally applicable to all, Jewish or not.

If each day you wake up with the aim of repairing the world in some way, leaving something better than you found it, you can rest immortal, confident that your existence truly had an impact that will not fade with your life. It is through this action of repairing the world that we express our humanity, dignity, and love of life. Through Tikkun Olam, even the least religious among us can find something to believe in.

How have you repaired the world today?

brief message...

So you all know this is my big thing lately, so forgive me for posting it here, but...

Get the word out about Emergency Contraception!

-It is not abortion, it cannot terminate a pregnancy
-It works the same way as traditional hormonal contraception
-It can significantly reduce the chance of pregnancy up to five days after intercourse
-It is safer than aspirin

Learn more here or through planB's website

The FDA is currently considering a petition by Plan B manufacturer Barr Labs to make Emergency Contraception available over the counter. Supporting this initiative could prevent 800,000 abortions each year. 43% of the recent decline in abortions has been attributed to greater knowledge and availability of Emergency Contraception.

Fuckwit

So someone asked me the meaning of fuckwit, and having so much experience with men of that type, I thought I'd offer the definitive definition.

A fuckwit is a guy who pours on the sugar, but somehow leaves you feeling salty. A fuckwit is the one who promises you the world...tomorrow. A fuckwit goes from hot to cold to lukewarm for no apparent reason, until the only thing you're sure of is the chill. A fuckwit always has a plan. A fuckwit is only sorry when he wants something and only available when things are easy. A fuckwit likes the challenge, loves the game, but hates to stick around past half-time. A fuckwit never makes you feel loved, even though he might be saying it all along. A fuckwit thrives on your insecurity and his upper hand. A fuckwit always needs to have the remote control, be in the driver's seat, and have all the cards. A fuckwit never lets on that he's a fuckwit. And you will never know what hit you.

Correct usage: "Dude, Caroline's boyfriend is a total fuckwit. He says he loves her and wants to be with her and stuff, but then why is she always crying?"
Incorrect usage: "Listen, girl, don't let him fuck wit' you."

Letters that my friends will never send

Number 2
(different friend)

Dear_______

I just wanted to tell you that I’m fine. Almost a year later, and I’m finally doing okay. It took a while, though, longer than I ever would have thought. I’ve spent so much time staying away from people, and you spent so much time getting close to me. You spent so much time unbuilding the walls I’d put up. And now I’m left with a pile of bricks. I can’t believe that it took you no time, no time at all, to get over me. Maybe you were breaking up with me for a while though, all the while I thought it was getting better. Maybe I’ve been losing you since the day I met you.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I’m finally there, I think. Finally where I was when I started with you. Finally able to come home at night and not cry. Finally done hooking up to dull the emptiness. Finally able to tell myself, like I have been all along, that I woulda been the best thing that ever happened to you, and believe it. Finally sure I’m worth it.

So listen, you mighta fucked me up real good, I’m not gonna say you didn’t, but I want you to know I’m over it now.

And I want you to know you were wrong about me. Because even bent down and broken, all bottomed out, even the way I was when you got done with me, I am ten times the woman she’ll ever be. Or anyone you’ll ever find. Remember that, when you fall asleep next to someone and still feel lonely. Remember what it feels like to be loved.

girlspeak #32

She says: No, honey, that sounds great. It's just that...
She means: Absolutely no fucking way. Are you insane?

She says: Why would I be jealous?
She means: She's just a really attractive co-worker/waitress/gal pal/diving instructor. Don't be silly. I'm only jealous when she's within a two mile radius of you.

Caitlin

There is a hole in my life
Where she used to be
There is a table waiting
Thursday nights…
Reserved.
Bleach-blonde badass
Anorexic slut
Whose biggest secret
Was how much she cared
And how little she was sure of.
Skinny-elbowed
Jersey girl
Washed up in North Carolina
Run away to LA
Done with Ohio boys
And frat fucks
And cheap thrills
And cigarette butts.
Alcoholic angel…
Come back to me.

Letters that my friends will never send

NUMBER 1

Dear________

I just wanted to tell you that I understand. I do. You might not think that I possibly could, so I want to tell you that you’re wrong. I understand. I understand how hard it must be to be you right now. I understand how much you must hate yourself for what you’re doing. I understand that you never meant for anyone to get hurt.

A lot of people have told me that I’ve been “played.” I want you to know that I know that’s not the case. I know that you thought you were for real. I know that the emotion took you down like a tidal wave. I know you never saw the undercurrent coming. I know that you’ve never lied to me…not on purpose.

And listen, one last thing before this gets rough, I want you to know that I don’t hate you. In fact, there’s a stupid, stubborn part of me that still loves you. Probably always will.

But as much as I get you, know you, and hell, maybe even love you, much as I understand your position, understand the rock and hard place you’re squeezed between, I still can’t fucking believe it. I can’t believe that I got burned this bad. I can’t believe I blinked. My eyes were momentarily closed, and I woke up through the windshield. I never even saw it coming. Now I’ve gotta clean up this mess, and here’s where I can’t help but resent you, because I shouldn’t have to do it alone.

When we were together, I never thought I would be alone again.

I thought that we could stay there, in that moment, and that everything would be okay. I let my guard down. And here we are, because it turns out, life didn't stop for us, did it? And there you are, whistling like it doesn't even bother you. Like you weren't there, too. Like you never felt a thing. I know that it’s not easy; I know that it’s a front. But man, I despise you just for fronting. Because I never can again.

So I’m just wondering, when are the consequences gonna be real for you? When is something not gonna go your way? When are you gonna actually have to sleep in the bed you made? When will your charm get tired and your luck run out? I’ll be waiting. And then, for once, you'll know how I feel.

I know you're scared. I know you're scared to look at youself in the mirror because you hate yourself. But do us both a favor, stop hating and start making right. It's the only way back.

Much love, you’ll need it.

Hate that

I am so freaking predictable...

Girlspeak

# 15:

She says: "I'm not really looking to date anyone."
She means: "You. I'm not really looking to date you."

She says: "This isn't a good time in my life for a relationship."
She means: "With you. This isn't a good time in my life for a relationship with you."

poor role models

Grease's central message: "Go ahead, change yourself for a man!"
Yeah, then he'll love you.

something new...

To all my girls...like a woman scorned

The smell of sex
Turned sour
The notion of love
Dissolved. Is this what it’s like to be a woman?
Living in an age of convenience?
Immediate service
Disposable goods
Endless illusions…
Ephemeral wants.

something old...

Driving to North Carolina

My mother begs me to wait until morning,
A friend, concerned, asks if I’m okay to drive through the night.
But don’t they know,
That I would not give up one moment
Of those lonely nights on the road?
Shedding the plains of Illinois
Like old worn skins
Just in time to catch Louisville in darkness
Bright buildings against inky skies,
Deep blue Kentucky clouds
Tinged with the faintest light of dawn.
Sunrise over West Virginia mountains
Slow and subtle in greens and grays
Before orange light pours out
Through morning river mists.
North Carolina sends the clouds down to meet me
In a breathy carpet of fog,
Tall grasses in the first light of morning
And sleepy southern drawls over daybreak sticky buns
Lazy “Yes Ma’ams” with a steaming mug of coffee
Truckers just starting on their routes.
The roads twist and pull towards the coast
Daring me to keep driving
And try to make it to the beaches by nightfall.

Imaginary Friends

You can build a life on illusions
With people who exist only in your head
You can make him into anyone you want him to be
And curl up with your vision in bed
But you will find yourself humming Pearl Jam on a Tuesday
And you will remember dreaming in red
And you will wake up all alone...
Rethinking the words you wish he'd said.

L'esprit d'escalier

One of my favorite expressions is the French l’esprit d’escalier. It refers to how after having a heated conversation with someone the perfect remark always occurs to you as you descend the staircase on your way out.

I wonder where all those flashes of brilliance go, as they’re swallowed and left unsaid. I wonder if they lie in mental filing cabinets that people keep to remember themselves at their wittiest and most caustic.

Or I wonder if they sit in the pit of your stomach, burning a hole…like in mine.