Yes, it's true...I'm a man.

So one of my friends constantly accuses me of being "such a man" when it comes to relationships. It's true, there was that one time when I thought I could break it off with someone by just not returning his calls ("He'll get the idea, right?"), and the time I stopped seeing someone because he wanted to define "what we were," and there was also that time when everyone asked me why I was still hanging out with a guy who was a total airhead and I was like, "but he's so good looking!" BUT, up until now I have had my share of girl moments, too. I remember finding out that one of my good male friends actually wanted to get with me and being so distraught because he wasn't just friends with me for me. I also once text messaged a guy back home infuriated because he had only wanted to see me over spring break to hook up. Supposedly we were friends+, so I was like "if we were really friends, you would want to see me with my clothes on, bastard."
Yeah, but sometime around the time I proclaimed "I don't fucking want to be his friend, I have plenty of friends, I just want to make out with him" about my new crush, or the time I told some guy who I had been hooking up with who wanted to take me to dinner that that wasn't really what he was to me, I realized: I have completely turned into a man.
Jake, it's true. I have a 12" penis.